hamaaraa kyaa hai ke ham to chiraaG-e-shab kii tarah

agar jale bhii to bas itnii raushanii hogii

ke jaise tund andhero.n kii raah mein, jugnuu

zaraa sii der ko chamake chamak ke kho jaa.yen

phir is ke baad kisii ko na kuchh sujhaa_ii de

na shab kaTe na suraaG-e-sahar dikhaa_ii de

Popularity: 6% [?]

You know you are a racist?

I am a what?

A fucking racist!!

Thank god I thought you just alleged me of being a rapist

That wasn’t funny at all… like your other posts that fall under the category of Humor. There is nothing intellectual about them, you ridicule other races to create humor out of it and it’s not funny. You have no right to say something to a certain community without doing any prior research.

Damn! This came straight from the heart eh? Well for the past many months I have been accused of racism. Some offended readers have been suggestive but the rest were extremely critical. Now why should I care what other people say? I just attacked the race that they belong to; I didn’t attacked anybody’s temples, churches or mosque. There are people out there who attack countries and easily get away with it. The other day some freak blew himself up in public (D.I. KHAN, Pakistan) and got many innocent killed. Try and get that attacker

Why people even argue on this issue. I think every one and I mean everyone is a racist to a certain extent. Of course majority of us don’t wake up in the morning and promise ourselves that we will abuse the apposite race or hit the first guy we see on the street with our car, that belongs to a different race. But do we let any chance go, when it comes to blame the apposite community or race and making fun of them. For example when we see a Bengali person on the street we look down on them and utter; ‘there goes an illegal immigrant ’ but many of us wont mind if we are even illegally transported to the US or any other big shot country.

Similarly the people in Sindh blame the people in Punjab for everything. No electricity; ‘the people in Punjab are taking away our electricity’; somebody tell them you are the one apposing the Kalabagh Dam. Even I use to think that People in Punjab hate us and are ripping us off. But than I realized it’s just the Sharif brothers then and Choudary brothers now. Other than that my confusion was further cleared when I met couple of nice fellas from Lahore and they told me that they just not hate us. Not because we are not worthy of the honor but because they are further racially divided into several cast and races. For example the Gujjers hates the Arais, the Butts complain about the Jutts, than there are Choudries, Niazies, Maliks and the list goes on.

As we move further up on the map we have pissed of Pathaans that just hate the fact that nobody takes them seriously and they are equally intelligent and talented; yeh rite! Lolz Similarly the Baluachis feel most neglected and ignored. They register their protest by blowing up the gas piplines, a very close friend of mine Soomro from Quetta revealed a very interesting fact to me that most of the pipelines are blown on Saturday nights. How funny is that?

So are we the only racist country on the face of the earth? Of course not everyone is racist to some level. We all remember what happened to Miss (all of a sudden famous) Shilpa Shetty in Big Brother. The Britz are still covering up by giving Shilpa some undeserve importance. Even in India the North Indians have something to say about the south Indians and vice versa. In America the niggers I mean African Americans get offended now and then.

I asked my father who does not believe in racism at all, that why and since when are we like this. He told me that back in the seventies we were not racist at all. The country was not even divided into the fundamentalists and enlightened Pakistanis. In fact there were two types of people that existed ie Bhutto and everyone that hated Bhutto. In other words Bhutto lovers and haters but than came this son of a bitch general by the name Zia ul Haq and hence we are still facing the repercussions.

Racism exists practically in all countries, but in certain places and situations it is especially common. Some of the very common reasons for racism to arise are fear or the need for a “scapegoat”. If things are going badly many people’s natural reaction is to blame somebody else. This is exactly what often causes racism, if the unemployment is rising or the national economy is very weak, many people will look for a scapegoat to blame, and in most cases they will choose the people that they do not know, such as those with a different ethnical or cultural background. As for me; being a racist blogger will not help my popularity level. So I should accept the fact that I am not funny at all and cracking racist jokes won’t increase my readership or the number of hits. I need to add some porn or some NSFW items to serve the purpose.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NDfSDuKzbvs]

Chris Rock doing the stuff he do the best, the topic ‘Racism’

 

Popularity: 5% [?]

• Pakistan actually claims to be a democratic country. Set of rules are prescribed on some document which worth’s less than a cheap condom; by the way they call it constitution

• In Pakistan any army officer can have whichever civilian position even if they are reserved for civilians only. But of course the same rule does not apply the other way around.

• Pakistan’s foreign, internal, educational, you name it – any policy is determined by USA, SAUDIA ARABIA, UK, etc but never and I mean never by the people of Pakistan.

• We have law ministry but no law, we have foreign ministry but no foreign policy, we have schools but no education. We have bus stands but buses never ever stops there. The list goes on…

• Osama Bin Laden who use to work for USA in the 80’s like SADDAM HUSSEIN and now is in 50% partnership with the country is not in Pakistan. You know why? He feels insecure of the ongoing terrorist attacks in Pakistan.

Popularity: 4% [?]

It’s quite interesting that there are certain issues and people that when are brought up in public get immediate reactions. For instance if someone comes up with the name of ;

Bush; the immediate reaction of the general public would be what an ass-hole!

Himesh Reshamya; my ears are hurting

Paris Hilton; what a slut!

Shoaib Akhter: Now what ?! or What has he done this time?

Yes the infamous and in my point of view a bit unlucky Shoaib Akhter is making headlines again and if anyone would have predicted, this incident has hardly anything to do with cricket as well. Shoaib was found guilty of beating up his fellow pacer Muhammed Asif with a bat and left a bruise on his thigh.

“I’m human and made a mistake in the heat of the moment,” Shoaib told Indian news TV channel NDTV. “Asif said something to me that made me lose my temper. I apologized to him, but I was very upset. “I’m feeling bad that two minutes of temper have ruined my comeback. Sometime you do things in a fit of temper. I will explain the situation to everyone and apologies. I will try and make it back for the series against South Africa next month.”

My question is why man? Why? How can you do something like this to your fans and above all to yourself?

My personal opinion is that the guy is cursed. His life is surrounded by controversies. I am sure that if he was present in the last world cup. He would have conveniently blamed for Bob Woolmer’s death and would have been spending his last days in some West Indian prison. But than Bob Woolmer was never killed, some stupid doctor sensationalized the autopsy result.

I am afraid this looks like an end to Shoaibs career and we will always remember him as a bowler with plenty of talent and speed but paucity of professionalism. How unfortunate

Popularity: 12% [?]

 

 

 

Shabz: Do you know what’s the new Nazim of Karachi (mayor) has promised?

aMmAr: Hmmm… No

Shabz: To make the city Dess-ent

aMmAr: Dess-ent ? :S

Shabz: Yes

aMmAr: What does that mean?

Shabz: I tried to look into the dictionary but failed to find the word “Dess-ent”

aMmAr: I am sure he meant decent

Shabz: So it took you five minutes to figure that out, you idiot But he said all his efforts will be to make Karachi a Dess-ent city.

aMmAr: Ok ..

Shabz: According to him; He will the improve the standard of living and quality of education so that when a karachiite will wakeup in the morning he can tell himself “Man I am living in a dess-ent city.”

aMmAr: Hmm..man; the guy is quite emotional about it … heh

Shabz: Yeh! I saw some tears in his eyes when he uttered those words.

aMmAr: Ok..

After few months the new Nazim Mustafa Kamal drilled or hollowed the whole city out. The overly populated city of Karachi faced worst traffic jams as there were hardly any alternative routes available for those exhumed roads. People panicked but the city government ensured that these measures are taken for the construction of new highways, fly over and bridges and above all to make our life style dess-ent.

aMmAr: dude they burrowed the whole city.

Shabz: I know..

aMmAr: How can you start several numbers of projects all at same time.

Shabz: One word my friend… Dess-ent!

aMmAr: Shut the f*** up man…one should name him Mustafa Khudaaal (miner) instead of Mustafa Kamal.

Shabz: Dess-ent!!

aMmAr: Yeah whatever…

Within two years to everyone’s surprise the city government actually was able to complete majority of the projects on time. But as we all know that every week 3oo cars contribute to the city’s traffic. So the traffic jam situation became worse then ever. But some people were very happy of the city government. Like my friend O. I would like to inform you that O is a Behari and Beharis in Karachi distinctively contribute a lot to the Jokes and Gag industry like Pathaans, Sardars and Memons (Gujrati). Yes we humans are racists and love to make racial comments. But that’s not the point here; the point is that O can’t get over the fact that he is a Behari like any other Behari in Karachi. How typical

O: man you know what!?

aMmAr: Now what?!

O: You know the Nazim Mustafa Kamal.

aMmAr: Yes..

O: he is a Behari aswell [..He uttered those words very proudly]

aMmAr: So?

Shabz: So that includes another great Behari in the long list.

aMmAr: Get over it Obaid. The list is too small in comparison with my great UP (Utter Pradesh) list. [My parents are from UP]

O: Shut the f*** up. I have Laloo Parsaad, Shehker Suman, Manoj Bajpai, The Buddha and George Orwell.

aMmAr: George Orwell was an English man and I am not having this conversation again.

O: go check out wikipedia man he was born in Behar

aMmAr: Screw you and your list. You know who the greatest Behari of all time is.

O: Mrs. Laloo Parsaad ?!

aMmAr: Wrong answer. The correct answer is ‘I don’t give a shit ‘

As the elections are getting near the city government is trying to strengthen its popularity among the people and by starting new projects all over the city once again. But this time things are getting a little too difficult.

The other day when I was surfing on the internet; all of a sudden a network unplugged sign appeared on my screen. I called my cable guy to enquire what the hell just happened and he told me that the authorities are planning to construct something and they literally chopped of all the poles from the ground. As result the fiber cable (rest in peace) is lying on the road like a poor Iraqi and I am trying to collect it asap.

I called shabz to inquire if he was facing the same problem…

aMmAr: dude they chopped off my cable.

Shabz: Who?

aMmAr: the authority. The whole area is like Afghanistan.

Shabz Dess-ent

aMmAr: No internet man :@ I’ll die

Shabz: Dess-ent

This morning my poor cousins crash into our house, because the authorities chopped their electrical poles off as well and there won’t be any electricity for another day. Remind you they live in a highly secured and comparatively sophisticated area ie ASKARI-IV. Not to forget the bridge that collapsed yesterday. I know the city govt. is trying to make our life decent but in order to make one thing better tearing down the rest of the infrastructure is not understandable. One can only hope that things don’t get any worse in the near future. As in the past we have seen that it rains rite after they drill something up

Popularity: 6% [?]