I remember when I was a kid and all I ever wanted to be was a grown up. Because for me growing up was so freaking cool; grownups can drive, they can smoke that thing call cigarette or what ever and a cool smoky ring comes out of ones mouth. I use to watch my dad smoking and one day when he accidentally threw that thing on the floor, I picked it up and took a puff. The result was ‘cough! cough! cough! cough! cough! cough! cough! cough! cough! cough! cough! cough! cough!….” I never tried that shit since then

But all I wanted was to grow up asap. One more edge that grownups had on kids was hooking up with apposite gender. Back then girls in my class use to be so irritating and bitchy, the world hasn’t changed much but at that time girls use to be anything but nice. They were some crazy ass rude bitches I used to get all suspicious if any girl in my class or neighbor hood sounded polite. After several years the myth was finally revealed to me when I was told that if a girl in her early teens acts extremely rude then chances are that she actually likes you or had a crush on you (of some sort).

  Ok, good! And men are blamed for not understanding women. But to be a grown up is the aim of every boy, you know what else is common among young boys they have secret crushes on their hot teachers. Secret nah! Guys never have secret crushes or affairs until they are married or are in a serious relationship. They tell everyone about their crushes and affairs before that. Even if you meet one idiot for the first time and catch him starring some hot girl. He will have this devil look in his eyes and bark; ‘that hot piece of ass is your bhabi (brother’s wife).’ Yeah rite, that poor girl had no clue that you even exist, you idiot. Despite the fact that you guys were class mates for the past seven years.  But when we are kids, we have crushes on our hot teachers. That teacher appears like an angel send straight from heaven; beautiful smile, nice long locks, sexy voice. A guy in his 3rd grade had a crush on his teacher.So he  waited and waited and waited. His dreams were shattered when he hit 17 and  decided to go up to her, reason; that lady was all fat

‘I first thought that Adnan Sami had her for breakfast or something. But it was her alright‘ he told me  

 So moral of the story is that growing old is not as much fun as it appears when you are kids, you don’t get much holidays from your work place, no summer vacations, no nothing. Public holidays had such significance in my life when I was in school, even if I had no clue what that holiday was about. Strikes were like bonuses. I used to ask my friend what’s the strike about.

And he used to narrate this long tale to me;  

‘well dude, some guy had an old tire and thought to make use of it, so he brainstormed this important issue with his buddies and they came up with this brilliant plan of setting it on fire.  

‘Burning tire, dats kewl ’

‘then one genius came up with this idea of tossing that tire on the road and throw stones on the cars by passing.’

‘Man you have some crazy fun when you grow old, eh? ’ I replied

‘Growing up is kewl man’

‘Yeah growing up is kewl’

But now if there is a terror threat in the town or some crazy freak blows himself off it doesn’t really matters you have to reach your work place on time, no matter what. I remember when on 18^th October their was a big bomb blast not greatly far from my place and some150 people died, I planned to stay home and watch Kamran Khan whine on GEO (RIP). My dad asked me that what the hell I was doing.

I meekly replied, ‘watching Kamran Khan whine’.

‘Why aren’t you getting ready for work?’ He asked.

‘Because its dangerous to go out their!’

‘What are you? Some white lady from New York ’

  Then he asked me to grow some balls and get my ass ready for work. So there I was out in middle, with little or no traffic on the streets of Karachi city, trying to grow some balls on my way to work and reminiscing the good old days when I was a kid and use to get a day off just by acting sick.       

Popularity: 10% [?]

Bol…

bol kay lab aazaad hai.n tere

bol zabaa.N ab tak terii hai

teraa sutawaa.N jism hai teraa

bol kay jaa.N ab tak terii hai

dekh ke aaha.ngar kii dukaa.N me.n

tu.nd hai.n shole surKh hai aahan

khulney lagey quffalo.n ke dahaane

phailaa har ek zanjiir kaa daaman

bol ye tho.Daa waqt bahot hai

jism-o-zabaa.N kii maut se pehley

bol kay sach zi.ndaa hai ab tak

bol jo kuchh kehna hai kah le

[sutawaa.N=well built; aaha.ngar=blacksmith; tu.nd=sharp (here it means bright);]

[aahan=iron; quffalo.n ke dahaane=keyhole]

Popularity: 5% [?]

I was tagged some days back by you know who :)  PR3RNA!! so here are some details about me that you guys are unaware of;

 List five things that you want to say to people but never will. Don’t say who they are.

1. Dude your girl is cheating on you.
2. I don’t visit your place because I have more important things to do on Sundays, like having fun.
3. Yes I was the one who ate your pizza.
4. What are you looking at, never seen a khatmal in a black dress?
5. I know what you did last summer

Five Things I’d Love To Do Before I Die.

1. Write a bestseller.
2. Get rich or die trying
3. Play all nirvana songs on my guitar.
4. Para diving
5. Have my very own collection of super cars

Five Things I Will Not Do Even If It Kills Me.

1. Listen to Abrar-ul-Haq and admire his music.
2. Pull the famous Maulna Abdul Aziz’s stunt (cross dressing )
3. Eat Chinese food when Italian or desi food is on the menu.
4. Throw a vulgar comment on a girl passing by.
5. Watch the SAW movies, people with little or no taste watch and enjoy such pathetic films

Five Things I Do When I’m Away From The Public

1. Have fun
2. make stories in my upper chamber
3. Watch the Al-Pacino collection on my DVD player.
4. Practice my dance moves
5. Blog!!

Five Fave Sentences/Quotes

1. “Molay noo Mola na mara tey naee mardaa!! “ (nobody can kill mola jutt but mola jutt himself- Maula Jutt the film)
2. “ Screw you guys I am going home “
3. “Mogambo Khush hua” (Mogambo feels contented - Mr. India)
4. “banda kutta billi paal le, khushfehmi na paley :P”
5. “How you doing ;)”

Five Things I’ll Make You Wish You Didn’t Do, If You Did

1. Pretend you know me when you don’t even have a clue.
2. calling me a flirt
3. Mess with the people I love the most.
4. Talk rubbish about my religion and my country.
5. Eat my leftover cake in the fridge.

Five People To Tag

1. Ayaz
2. Hassan
3. Aliana
4. Sumera

and BEECA

Popularity: 5% [?]

So he declared it. I had once read a quotation which is actually in Farsi  that “Uzar Az Gunnah, Badtar Az Gunnah”( Excuse for SIN is worst than sin). I think this same is applied to Gen. Pervez Musharaf , who as a President of Pakistan giving excuses yesterday for his so called EMERGENCY. He gave the most stupid excuses for imposing the emergency like, CJ take 100s of suo moto cases, cases against high officials of Intelligence Agencies, Police and etc. Then he gave excuses from the issue of LAL Masjid, the ISI Created Sawat situation and the suicide attacks all over Pakistan.

Okay, now lets talk about his excuses.

• The first excuse was about the CJ who took 100s of suo moto cases and the cases against the high officials of Pakistani Armed Forces . May be its not in your knowledge that among those 100s of cases, many of them related to public favor and I would like to quote especially the case of Manno Bheel, Incident of Karsaz,high prices of fuel, extremely high price of Rice and most especial of them is the case of missing persons. I will not explain any one of these cases to you because you can also think that these cases are in favor of Pakistani Nation.
• The second excuse given was related to the situation of Sawat, Lal Masjid and Sucide attacks all over Pakistan especially on Armed Forces. Could any one please tell me who created these situations??? In the case of Lal Masjid, officials said that because of some FORIEGN MILLITANTS the deal couldn’t let happen but they never ever try to show any one of that foreign militant, nor alive neither dead. The previous version of TNSM( Tehreek-e-Nifaz-e- Shariyat-e-Muhamadi, Sawat) was fully sponsored by ISI during the BB rule and If someone have knowledge  then he may know that Taliban also reject to take help from those millitants. So, if the father-in-law could be sponsored by ISI then why couldn’t be his Son-in-law (Maulana Fazulalah).

The most interesting situation is  nobody want to believe that it is emergency, on the contrary most of the people thinks its a Martial Law (Please click it to enlarge)

http://hassanspeaks.files.wordpress.com/2007/11/mush-11.jpg

In any case, Pakistan is now in the hands of few people who claims that they only work for Pakistan but everyone knows they are wrong.  In fact in my view, Musharaf completed his three tasks by only one decision

1. Gain his term for five more years, as he know he could loose his case in SC.
2. Postponed the case of Missing Persons.
3. Dismiss CJ Iftakhar Chaudri, because he know that he would definately pinch him.

Popularity: 7% [?]