Height:  4’3’’

Weight: 64 Kgs

Color: Weatish,

I named him Rawalpindi express. He is my Goat for qurbani (sacrifice) and has a serious attitude problem. When I visited the Bakra Mandi (Barn) this morning I was looking out for a cute fellow in affordable range. When the sales person or Chacha was handing him over to me he advised me to watch out for him because nobody in the past dared to tie him up and he has a bit attitude problem.

Yeah rite I told myself. But after few hours people found me running after my Goat (Rawalpindi Express) on the streets. Turns out that  Chacha was right.I hope nobody was filming that. Don’t want to be on youtube for wrong reasons. Eid-ul Azha aka Bekra Eid aka the Big Eid is the event with huge religious importance. It highlights the sacrifices made by Prophet Ibrahim (AS) and his family. And since then we reenact the incident.

 

I am sure you all of you are aware of the Christmas carol. Well here in Pakistan we have something close to that, like a Bekra Eid carol of our own. After every few hours you will hear the young ones singing and screaming. Guuy Aai Guuy Aai (Here comes the cow, here comes the cow).     

Speaking of cows; a cow from Pakistan called her sister cow in India for some last minute goodbye.

Pakistani Cow: How you doing gurl ??

Indian Cow: never been better

Pakistani Cow: Hmmm… somebody sounds happy??

Indian Cow: You bet !! listen to this one, over here in India I am God !

Pakistani Cow: Get out of here !! you are keeding me right?

Indian Cow: I swear upon Anjuman (Lollywood Actress) the only cow from our community who made it to the big screens.

Pakistani Cow: Sigh! You better not be keeding because I am a die heart Anjuman fan.

Indian Cow: I know that Gurl! And I am telling you I am having a ball here. Feeling all holy and stuff :D. He he he  

By the way How you doing??

 Pakisatni Cow: I am pretty popular here too,  I guess. They all seem to be very hospitable. Screaming; Guuy Aai Guuy Aai.  

Indian Cow: why they haven’t seen a good looking cow before

 I wish everyone on Wordpress a wonderful Eid. Especially the vegetarians, who are going to miss the Bar-B-Q parties.

Popularity: 7% [?]

 

 

 

اگر زندگي دنده عقب داشت

If life had a reverse gear !!

 

The above picture was taken from Homeyras blog, she was kind enough to translate it for me.

Popularity: 4% [?]

People are getting married this season in Pakistan. For some strange reason people choose to get married in the holiday’s season particularly in December. Why December? Why not the rest of the eleven months, from Jan to November? People don’t divorce each other after looking at the calendar. So why marriage

  Hey honey, I ve decided to divorce you on the 7^th of October. What do you say?

  

 Hmmm… I dunno, my aunty who lives in San Francisco won’t be able to attend. How about December?

  

 Honky dory! Now let’s make sweet love 

   

 I hate attending marriages. It’s the most over rated occasion to party. Women with horrible sense of fashion get the opportunity to wear deafening make-up, dazzling clothes and perfumes that have a hefty proportion of saturated chloroform. The married men are there to look after the kids. You weren’t expecting Mama to appear like Madhuri Dixit and running after young Pappo with a feeder at the same time or were you? It’s the responsibility of the Man   

 But no man learns from it. You have seen your uncles, your cousins, then your brothers; you name it. But nobody learns. And after few months of realization they console each other in parties of similar nature. They start by cursing Benazir and Musharraf. Than comes expert scrutiny of the Pakistani cricket team which is followed by;

   

 A:Dude, your loosing hair!

   

 B: Yes, that and loads of green (money).

   

A: How come?

B: My friend [Sigh!] when a man decides to get married; he gradually looses every good he has. In contrast his wife gains every bad she has, like weight, weight and loads of weight.   

 A: Which one is your wife by the way?  

B: You see that big sack of wet clothes on that table near the water cooler.

  A:Yes.  

B: That thing is my wife.

   

B: Which one is yours?

   

A: Can you see that woman in the red dress? Who tried to look like Ashwariya and ended up looking like Abhishek.

   

B: The one who’s fiercely rubbing that red lipstick on her jaws?

   

A: Yeah. That’s my better half.

So the question is what is there for single man? Nothing hot or sexy, I still remember how my dad uses to persuade me to attend these weddings.

  Me: Dad, I have this crucial test tomorrow. I can’t go to some stupid wedding.

  

 Dad: Son, If you are not going to attend their wedding, nobody will be present in yours.

  

 Me: Dad what are you talking about. I am only 12 years old and probably not going to get married in the coming 12 (years).

  

 Dad: Hmmmm…. There will be plenty of free ice cream.

  

 Me: So, when is the wedding again? :O

  

 Yes free meal, its the biggest attraction. You will have this old friend complaining about your absence and the next thing you know he is somewhere near the food stalls, making the pile of items on his plate. But the highlight of any Pakistani wedding is the movie session; where all who are invited get a chance to have a candid session with the bride and the groom. This session is the longest and most exhausting of all. And the poor groom has to wear this fake smile on his face all the time.

   

 Now when I think about marriage ceremonies a line from ‘A Night at the Roxubury’ comes to my mind, where the priest asks Will Farrell if he wants to take this woman as his bride and he bluntly replies;

  ‘I dunno, my father already paid the caterers ’ 

Popularity: 10% [?]

Jeenay kay liye socha hii nahee dard samhaalney hongay….

Muskara-ey tau, muskaranay kay karz utaarney hongay…

Muskara-aoo kabhi tau lagta hai… Jaisay hontoo pai karz rekha hai…

- Gulzar

Popularity: 9% [?]

Gone are the days when I use to blog about nothing and use to feel pompous about it But now I have to think 100 times before writing and the result is no post at all. I still remember the period when I mostly use to write humorous posts. That stage was followed by the politically triggered posts (thanks to political crisis in the country today). And the phase that you are witnessing right now is full of confusion and anger.   

So I will write or blog about random bekwas stuff and feel good about it.

  I would like to start the post with the boring Indo-Pak series that is taking place in India rite now. Now like any other true Karachiite I hate watching test matches. I find no motive of wasting both time and energy on something that lingers for 5 whole days and results in a draw. Now I know how some of the self commended cricket experts will react on this one. But I will narrate what I saw yesterday. About 11,000 runs on the board and Mr. commentator was complaining about bad conditions for batting  He went on saying and I quote, ‘I don’t like it, I don’t want such kind of a pitch.’ I knew that guy was high lolz C’mon there is no other explanation fot such a brainless comment. They should also test both commentators and umpires for dope. Because some of them sound and act like real junkies.   

Talking of cricket and Pakistani cricket specifically, the ex-head of the Parchii Cricket Board aka PCB Retd Gen. Tauqeer Zia has joined the political party PPP and is running for elections on their ticket. According to him the late Zulfi Bhutto was his ideal back when he was a young cadet in the army. Yes the same army who hung Bhutto for the reason which is irrelevant to discuss here. Tauqeer Zia was the core commander of Mangla and was quite close to the President retd. Gen Musahrraf. His addition to PPP suggests something. Go figure!

   

In other news Bourne trilogy starrer Matt Daemon! Is the new Peoples Magazine sexiest Men on earth. Who cares I know but still Matt Daemon, I mean c’mon kids Matt Daemon???!  My goat for the big eid is sexier then him. But I guess, it’s not as bad as illegally being the President and Army Chief at the same time. Does it ring a bell?

  

Last but not the least the country that can not be named in Tel-Aviv ie Iran is in news again and this time they founded ‘em clean. Yes they declare that Iran might not be enriching uranium for nuke purposes. This concludes that they might not be attacking Iran in 2008 as well. So if Iran is out of the list for a while. so who might be  the next target?

  What? Why the hell you’re looking at me   

      

Popularity: 6% [?]