R O N I Nammar yasir’s personal blog

[Note: Beeca Nadir is an MBA graduate and a professional banker. Shes a feminist, public speaker and a good cook]

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me….. (Anonymous)

Contrary to the common belief that only physical beating defines domestic violence is totally incorrect as verbal abuse is as damaging to an individual, if not more. Only healthy development of body is not enough as mental space is equally important. It is the psychological intrusion of the self that inflicts the major damage.

Abuse is a form of long term torture rather (slow poisoning) usually done by the victim’s close relatives, boss etc. it is an obliteration of trust and leads to bewilderment, fear, depression, dejection and suicidal tendency in the ill-treated. Whereas physical beating is the very familiar form of abuse, but words that assault or harm a person, and force one to believe a false statement constitute emotional violence. Verbal abuse is damaging to the soul, it makes the victim less confident with lower self-esteem. The abuser principally focuses on making the victim feel worthless. Name calling is the most common form of verbal abuse while yelling, intimidating, accusing, belittling and criticizing come in the category of verbal abuse as well. It is mostly experienced in a married relationship and usually women are the victims.

Verbal abuse is not confined to the lower strata of our society but middle and upper class is also experiencing at the same level. Women thank Allah that at least their husband is not beating them. It is very harmful to children who constantly witness verbal or physical abuse as they feel threaten too.

Though I am not a clinical psychologist but according to me “emotional abuse is worse in the long run and later physical abuse is always a possibility.” It makes the women feel more isolated in her pain and the mental stress gradually affects her entire out look of life. The constant scolding, insult, threats and ridiculing, create a risk of post-traumatic stress disorder. It can also lead to nervous breakdown or result in severe depression this can encourage suicidal attempts, another important fact that often goes unrecognized is that some males also encounter verbal abuse as their spouse are not capable of physical abuse. Because of their disability in generating good income or male dysfunction etc males become a victim of constant insult, verbal abuse and yelling.

Is celebrating women’s day the solution to the problems? Unfortunately, exposure to verbal aggression has received little or no attention as a specific form of abuse. Verbal abuse may have more lasting effects than other forms of abuse as it is continuous. It should be discourage the first time and under no circumstances one should tolerate.

So all the men out there please handle your spouses, girlfriends with care as they are fragile and need loads of support from their loved ones please don’t shatter their confidence.

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