[Note: Beeca Nadir is an MBA graduate and a professional banker. Shes a feminist, public speaker and a good cook]
Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me….. (Anonymous)
Contrary to the common belief that only physical beating defines domestic violence is totally incorrect as verbal abuse is as damaging to an individual, if not more. Only healthy development of body is not enough as mental space is equally important. It is the psychological intrusion of the self that inflicts the major damage.
Abuse is a form of long term torture rather (slow poisoning) usually done by the victim’s close relatives, boss etc. it is an obliteration of trust and leads to bewilderment, fear, depression, dejection and suicidal tendency in the ill-treated. Whereas physical beating is the very familiar form of abuse, but words that assault or harm a person, and force one to believe a false statement constitute emotional violence. Verbal abuse is damaging to the soul, it makes the victim less confident with lower self-esteem. The abuser principally focuses on making the victim feel worthless. Name calling is the most common form of verbal abuse while yelling, intimidating, accusing, belittling and criticizing come in the category of verbal abuse as well. It is mostly experienced in a married relationship and usually women are the victims.
Verbal abuse is not confined to the lower strata of our society but middle and upper class is also experiencing at the same level. Women thank Allah that at least their husband is not beating them. It is very harmful to children who constantly witness verbal or physical abuse as they feel threaten too.
Though I am not a clinical psychologist but according to me “emotional abuse is worse in the long run and later physical abuse is always a possibility.” It makes the women feel more isolated in her pain and the mental stress gradually affects her entire out look of life. The constant scolding, insult, threats and ridiculing, create a risk of post-traumatic stress disorder. It can also lead to nervous breakdown or result in severe depression this can encourage suicidal attempts, another important fact that often goes unrecognized is that some males also encounter verbal abuse as their spouse are not capable of physical abuse. Because of their disability in generating good income or male dysfunction etc males become a victim of constant insult, verbal abuse and yelling.
Is celebrating women’s day the solution to the problems? Unfortunately, exposure to verbal aggression has received little or no attention as a specific form of abuse. Verbal abuse may have more lasting effects than other forms of abuse as it is continuous. It should be discourage the first time and under no circumstances one should tolerate.
So all the men out there please handle your spouses, girlfriends with care as they are fragile and need loads of support from their loved ones please don’t shatter their confidence.
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//So all the men out there please handle your spouses, girlfriends with care as they are fragile and need loads of support from their loved ones please don’t shatter their confidence.// and if they don’t all you women out there don’t hesitate in paying back in the same coin.You may be physically weak but mentally you are much stronger than men.
A sensitive post Ammar.
Having control over one’s anger is the one and the basic solution to the problem. It isn’t the only reason why agression has been denied in Islam, a man in anger fears nothing and cant process whats wrong and whats right.Be it a man or a woman staying away from anger as much as possible is the best way and yes ofcourse teaching the children to have patience and control is a good thing to do as well, coz these days watching kids abusing elders who r at a lower level in the society is increasing tremendoulsy.
I heard on the radio show that in some parts of rural Punjab( India) the ratio of females to males is changing very fast. There would be 100 males for 50 females. Being a father of three sons and uncle to four nieces, I find it very disturbing particularly, unlike Punjabi Muslims, the Punjabi Sikhs do not marry with their fisrt cousins.We need to educate the society and the would be mothers to not to abort the female foetus.God is great, please help the humanity.
@prerna
thnx for ur comments and yes women by no means r less thn men. women possess a strong head on thr shoulders and r emotionally and mentally stronger thn men. and women kno really well how to treat a guy wen thr r ill treating us 
@ raj
dis ratio is serious threat to the society and for the up coming generation only the minds of males and older ppl shd me changed thr shd be a revolution in the thoght process.
@ nikki
i agree anger shd me controlled considerablly, regard less of gender, and yes children shd not only be educated in gd schools but gd morals shd be taught to em and its not possible in school, children practice wat thy see at home so parents and elders shd be vry cautious in front of em and set examples, instead of abusing and fightin wd each other.
I always believe that verbal abuse is more devastating than physical one..physical marks can fade away with time…verbal abuse leave a deeper mark..
A very thought provoking post Becca!
Good stuff!
thnx lubz.. 
its a fact wch is sad but true..
ul get read more of my thought provoking posts at ronin.
thnk for ur encouragment
nice write up becca, its nice to have u on ronin! i am sure u can make one hell of a blogger
ya rite.. thnx for praising me and giving me an opportunity thnnx god bless u
NO MATTER HARD I TRY I CANT ME AS GOOD AS U R , THR STILL A LOT TO LEARN FROM U.
Very nice post and good to see someone raising an issue of “verbal abuse” which is given least attention. Would just like to add one thing…men don’t just need to handle their spouses and girl friends with care but every woman they come across….sometime seemingly innocuous comments that men pass looking at any and every woman, can be turn out to be really disturbing for those women :S
thnx for ur kind word fariha and appreciating my topic, cant agree more to you and yes men needs a serious makeover in thier attitude, especially the way thy look and girls and pas vulgur comments on them, if thy gv equal respect to each and very women this world cud be much better place for the gurls..
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