R O N I Nammar yasir’s personal blog

Shahbaz Shiekh is an old friend, a telecom engineer and is completing his Masters from UTD. He writes on and off at Ronin. Here is another piece written by him that I wanted to share with my readers.

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A very common habbit among chronic tele watchers….. falling asleep on the couch while watching TV. If someone took a picture of me, asleep on the couch, my mouth ajar, accumulated drool on my collar and the remote control in one claw like hand, and then showed it to me then well… I would obviously feel pretty silly.

On one such night while I had fallen asleep gracefully watching TV, I had a dream. I dreamed that I was sitting on a bench in the park, the evening was giving way to a cool and pleasent night, when an old man came and sat beside me. His clothes were all wrinkled and dirty and signs of hunger and exhaustion were evident on his face. His eyes were dull and told you that that old man had absolutley no self esteem left. This old man was just waiting to die.

“Hello son.” He said in a gentle and slow voice.

“What do you want? Go away. Stupid old creature. I don’t have time to waste on you.” I replied harshly. I then reached into my pocket and pulled out a TV remote control, pointed at the old man and started pressing the buttons furiously. The remote control had some strange effect on the old man and he fell down from the bench, clenching his heart in pain.

“Please! Don’t hurt me. I just wanted some of your time.”

“I said… I don’t have time for you.”

“But don’t you remember me?”

“No!” I pressed some more buttons and the old man winced in more pain.

“Remember. When you were young, you used to wait for me every Saturday night, and I would bring you a nice english movie and you would watch it with your sister.”

“Ugly hag!!” It seemed that today I knew no mercy. I started shaking the remote control at him.

“…. and in the morning before you left for your school, I showed you your favorite cartoons and then you would talk about them with your friends in school all day.”

“…. die, Die, DIE!!!!” I was getting angrier.

“….. and when it was evening; you, your mom, grandma and siblings would watch me play a drama and then when it was over all of you would anxiously wait for the next episode.”

My rage grew cold and turned to stone. I brutally kicked the old man in the gut and spat on him. I laughed and said: “Hahahaha! You are so old. You are so clumsy. No one likes you any more.”

“Do you hate me too?” He asked feebly, tears in his eyes.

“I always hated you.” I replied giving him a disgusted look.

“Well, I always loved you.” He said and died.

I woke up with my mouth ajar, drool accumulating on my collar and the remote to the TV in one claw-like hand. And I asked my self: “Did I always hate PTV?”

Back in the days before the VCRs sat under television sets or before the Dish Antennas dwelled on rooftops or before the internet made mere mortals ubiquitous, PTV was the undisputed king of entertainment in Pakistani homes. People relied on PTV to tell them about the world (…. aaj ka khabarnama), people counted on PTV to make them laugh and people believed that watching PTV as a family made them a complete home.

What many people don’t know is that that is still the order of the day for a few Pakistanis. Well, not few but a lot of Pakistanis. Say…. about 50-60%. Contrary to popular belief that cable is EVERYWHERE; cable television services have still not penetrated the rural Pakistan (and also the larger Pakistan). So those poor folks (if they are fortunate enough to have a TV) will just get whatever is in the air, every where: PTV.

So the next time you look down upon PTV and say “Hahahaha! You are so old. You are so clumsy. No one likes you any more.” just think about the simple mundane lives of your country men, PTV is still trying its best to fill with color.

And besides, isn’t PTV the only channel which one can watch with his mom without getting up for a glass of water even though he is not thirsty?

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This article was brought to you by: Evil Brodcasters Assocaitions, Slavery of Speech foundation, The Sanctimonious Military Regiem and Karshi Ka Jame-e-Shereen.

Popularity: 13% [?]

I sometime wonder what is it in sufi-ism, its Kalam and music which binds me with an invisible thread and pull me towards an unexplored place, where I never been before. And every visit takes me to a level that can not be explained but felt.

Kafi is a form of classical sufi poetry that has its roots in Siraeki region of Sindh and Punjab. Many great Sufi poets have some great work in Kafi. Today I want to share Hazarat Sultan Bahauddins Kafi and a fused version brillaintly sunged by Pop Singer ALi Zafar (yeh! who would have belived) and Saii Tufail. This video clip is taken from Coke Studio. Rohail Hayaat and his team are doing a great favor to the younger generation and Pakistani Music through this programme.

Anywayz you enjoy the video:

Alif Allah chambey di booti, murshad mann layee hoo.
nafi asbaat da paani miliya, har gall har jayee hoo.
ander booti mushak machaiya jaaN phulan par ayee hoo.
jeevey murshid kaamal Bahu, jin ihh booti layee hoo.

Bey bismillah isam Allah da ihh bhi kehna bhaara hoo.
naal safaiyat sarwar aalam chhutsi aalam saara hoo.
hadoN be-had darood nabbi nooN jisda aidd pasara hoo.
mein qurban tinah thiN Bahu jihna miliya nabbi sahara hoo.

Sey saabat ishaq tinah ne ladha(found) jihna tarati chauRh cha keeti hoo.
na ohh sufi na ohh bhangi, na sijda karn maseeti hoo.
khals neel puraney utte nahi chaRhda rung majeethi hoo.
kaaji aan sharah vall Bahu kadi ishaq namaaz na keeti hoo.

Popularity: 15% [?]

Photo source

People say:  “Rain makes a menace of Karachi … ”

I say; ” Rain makes a Venice of Karachi “

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Once upon a time in a rainy season:

Ring Ring !!
Ring Ring !!

Shabz: Hello?
aMmAr: Dude!

Shabz: What?
aMmAr: Dhaba (cheap tea shop) in 15 mins

Shabz: No
aMmAr: why?

Shabz: the rain clouds
aMmAr: what about em?

Shabz: They are not in a good mood.
aMmAr: wtf are you talking about?

Shabz: Its going to rain man!
aMmAr: Says who?

Shabz: The guy on PTV
aMmAr: You mean the fat guy with thick Punjabi accent on PTV?

Shabz: Yes!
aMmAr: Screw him!! who watches PTV anyway

aMmAr: So are you coming?
Shabz: hmmm….two letters………N O

aMmAr: Screw you !!

Hangs up the phone…………

Day-II

Ring Ring !!
Ring Ring !!

aMmAr: Yello?!
Shabz: Dude!

aMmAr: What?
Shabz: Dhaba (cheap tea shop) in 15 mins

aMmAr: Man its raining outside…
Shabz: It was rainging man… you are such a sissy boy and besides its not going to rain now.

aMmAr: Says who?
Shabz: The guy on PTV..

aMmAr: You mean the fat guy with thick Punjabi accent on PTV?
Shabz: Yes

aMmAr: Screw him!! who watches PTV anyway

After 15 mins… Under some shelter

aMmAr: Its f***ing raining man !
Shabz: I can see that..

After 1 hour 15 mins… Under the same shelter

Shabz: It seems the rain aint going to stop?!
aMmAr: I can see that…

Shabz: Screw the weather man!!
aMmAr: You mean the fat guy with thick Punjabi accent on PTV?

Shabz: Yes

Popularity: 11% [?]

Event: Teabreak Hi-Tea

Venue: Copper-Kettle (Hassan Square Branch) Karachi, Pakistan

Host:  The Teabreak Team

I got there early with Asim and Imad to check the arrangements out. Jamal (The photo blogger) was the first one to show up and Asim asked me ‘why is he too early’. I asked Zair to check his ID card, he was 10 minutes earlier, very unlike any Paksitani . In the meanwhile Zair disclose the news that Shahzad won’t be able to make it, as he is sick and throwing up all over the neighborhood. I called him and asked him to try his best as we can’t afford to loose a team member in an important event such as this. At quarter past 4 Asim started to get a little nervous.

“Why aren’t they showing up?” he asked

I told him to calm down and then some bloggers started to show up one after another.  I was quite pissed at my friends (who also happen to be fellow bloggers) as I spend the whole Saturday reminding them to be there at 4 PM and except Imad all of them were “LATE”.

As a result we started the procession without them. Asim gave the welcome speech for which he spend the whole week preparing   and then it was my turn to tell the world (18 or more people) that what is we have in mind for Pakistani Blogging Community. I will God willing discuss the “agenda” in the upcoming posts. But that was the turning point of the whole evening as from their all the teabreak bloggers engaged themselves in a fruitful debate over a cup of tea. Of course the majority didn’t agree to certain points we presented but then we never expected them to do that. 

The main idea behind this “Get together” event was to provide Pakistani bloggers an opportunity to meet and identify our existence in the society we live in and if we have that certain existence then how can we work out a way to reshape the world around us. How successful we are to achieve that only future can tell. But I got a great response from bloggers like Jehan Ara, Dr. Awab and Ramla Akhtar. They are the who’s who of the industry and their encouragement really counts to a team as young as ours.  

It was also nice to meet new people and we shared quite a few jokes in a friendly environment. That’s the best part about blogging we have 1 million issues to talk, cry and laugh about. I want to thank all those who took some time out on a day like Sunday and joined us over a cup of tea.

Popularity: 7% [?]

I didn’t grow up in a “comic following” environment but like any other kid I had a thing for these comic characters; Superman, Spiderman etc. Despite the fact that all these characters don’t exist in the real world but no one can deny their relation with the real life heroes and villains. Too bad there is no such thing like a superhero in the world of super villains but then that’s another debate and I will whine about it in another blog post.

But today’s hot topic is the new sequel of Warner Bros ‘The Batman’ series; ‘The Dark Knight’. The film that grossed over $158.4million during its opening weekend was rated above ‘The God Father’ on IMDB. Damn! Is it that good? Well I have to watch it before answering this question.

There are several factors involved that makes ‘The Dark Knight’ this huge. And the major factor is Heath Ledger’s take on the role of Joker. He completely transfixed the viewers with his performance. Too bad his best performance proved to be his last as the actor died last year. Some believe that the film is jinxed as the stuntman of this film also died this year and some days before the day of the release actor Christian Bale was arrested on assault charges made by his mother and sister. Boy oh boy this is just getting spookier or interesting in a strange way. Maybe fiction is not that fictional.

Popularity: 6% [?]