Disclaimer: All the predictions in this blog post are made-up. The author will not be responsible if any of the above comes true.
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Howdy folks this is your host and dost (read: friend) Jeo Waraich and we are here with another episode of ‘Interview With the Retired’
Audience: *applause* *booing*
As you all are well aware that each week we call a pair of guests who have retired from their day jobs. And this weeks retired guests are Captain Clue-less Insaaf Khan and Qazi Uncle Ex-Ameer-e- Bakarkhani.
Audience: Booooooooooo *throwing rotten eggs and tomatoes*
Jeo Waraich: Starting from you Uncle Qazi (UQ), you have just retired from your party presidency, you must be feeling down. Do you need a hug?
Qazi Uncle (QU): *Sniff Sniff* Yes but my wife is watching us on the tele 
Jeo Waraich: Excuze me 
… well never mind. I will rephrase my question for you; How do you feel after retirement?
Qazi Uncle (QU): I feel like Insaaf Khan; Clue-less
Audience: ROFL 
hahahah LOL
Jeo Waraich: Well said Uncle 
… moving on 2 you Insaaf Khan; how do you feel so many years after retirement?
Insaaf Khan: I feel like Reema; No.1 ……………Yeh baby!
Audience: Booooooooooo *throwing rotten eggs and tomatoes*
Jeo Waraich: Well I am sure you feel like Filum staar Reema
Jeo Waraich: Moving on to some serious questions; Qazi Uncle what was your biggest achievement being Ameer-e-Bakarkhani?
Qazi Uncle (QU): Aaah… Never Support the REAL issue in the country and always whine about non-issues?
Jeo Waraich: Well, I am not inquiring about your party’s manifesto and agenda, I am asking about your biggest achievement as an Ameer of Bakar-khani?
Qazi Uncle (QU): I can moon walk in Peshawari sandals MJ style *oooh!* Now how many uncles you know, who can actually do that?
Jeo Waraich: I seriously don’t wanna know
Jeo Waraich: Coming back to you captain, where on earth are you these days?
Insaaf Khan: *shesssh!* It’s a secret..
Jeo Waraich: Whose secret?
Insaaf Khan: Victoria’s Secret!
Jeo Waraich: I beg your pardon :S *shook his head in disapprove*
Insaaf Khan: It’s a foreign conspiracy against me, and they have named the mission; Victoria’s Secret collection of conspiracies.
Jeo Waraich: How relevant
Audience: ROFL hahahah LOL
Jeo Waraich: Now answer me this, how on earth you always whine about justice, drone attacks and Victoria’s secret collection of conspiracies but don’t say a word when towlie-ban blows himself up in a public place?
Insaaf Khan: Because they are not the towlie-banz…it’s a forign conspiracy. In fact Victoria’s Secret collection of conspiracies.
Jeo Waraich: Now that’s absurd
Insaaf Khan: Shut your mouth, you are a DIA agent!
Jeo Waraich: Whats DIA?
Insaaf Khan: Dheedh Intelligence Service
Jeo Waraich: Please get yourself admitted, in your own hospital
Jeo Waraich: Same question uncle qazi, how come you never condemn terrorists attacks in Pakistan?
Qazi Uncle (QU): My wife after 45 years of marriage cant make me a decent cup of tea. How many people protest on that? The halwa in the neighbor hood shop don’t have the right amount of peanuts in it. How fair is that ?
Jeo Waraich: But how is that relevant to the question I asked?
Qazi Uncle (QU): Exactly my point! I rest my case
Audience: *applause*
Ok as you guys are retired now, and lets face it Insaaf Khan as a politician and Qazi Uncle as a stand up comedian in Broadways musicals will have no chance to succeed So we have an astrologer online who also happens to hold a very important ministry in the present Govt. Mr. Know it all Malick
Audience: *booooooooooooo* *eff-you you looooooooooooser*
Jeo Waraich: There there audience, let him speak… don’t give him the treatment he deserve. We know he deserve much worse but … oh c’mon *boooooooooooo*
Audience: *booooooooooooo*
Jeo Waraich: What scientific tools and intelligence do you use to predict the future of people?
Malick: The Same science and intelligence that I use in predicting future terrorist attacks in our country.
Jeo Waraich: And which is?
Malick: Kaka Manna akal da anna
Jeo Waraich: What ?? :S
Malick: Kaka Manna my parrot, he can talk in 5 different languages and predict future of people and countries with his intelligence and scientific theories
Jeo Waraich: Congratulations!! You are an idiot So what future
Malick: Kaka Manna can even tell what Paris Hilton is doing now
Jeo Waraich: No we don’t want to hear it from Kaka Manna, she’ll make a video of it and I can easily download it via my new Broadband connection ;P
Just tell me what the future holds for our guests here?
Malick: Future is bright for these two chaps, Insaaf Khan will be the coach of Women National Cricket team and he will win us the World Cup again Chak De style .
Insaaf Khan: Howizaaat?!!?! Yes Yes!
Malick: As for Uncle Qazi here, he will do his own show on Geo. Nikah online where he will play the real ‘Qazi’.
Qazi Uncle (QU): Wah! Isi Baat per halwa hojaaye 
Jeo Waraich: Oh-kay Good, this is all we have this week for you guys. Please don’t give us your feedback, we are aware that our show sucks but when Kamran Khan does not closes his show why should I. eh?
So catch ya next week with two more retired guests on ‘Interview With the Retired’
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Starring: Sharif Bros, Zor-dari, Taseer the pimp, Kurd, and actors from Hollywood
Illustrated by: me aka RONIN
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