Disclaimer: All the predictions in this blog post are made-up. The author will not be responsible if any of the above comes true.
Popularity: 17% [?]
People are getting married at this time of the year in Pakistan. For some strange reason people choose to get married in the holiday season especially in December. Why December? Why not the rest of the eleven months, from Jan to November? People don’t divorce each other after looking at the calendar or do they? So why wedding? 
Chubbie Hubbie: Hey honey, I ve decided to divorce you on the 7th of October. What do you say?
Trophy Wife: Hmmm… I dunno, my aunty who lives in San Francisco won’t be able to attend. How about December?
Chubbie Hubbie: Honky dory! Now let’s make sweet love 
I hate attending marriages. It’s the most over rated occasion to party. Women with horrible sense of fashion get the opportunity to wear deafening make-up, dazzling clothes and perfumes that have a hefty proportion of saturated chloroform. The married men are there to look after the kids. You weren’t expecting Mama to dress like Atiqa Odho and run after young Pappo with a feeder:P And besides It’s the responsibility of daddys to look after their kiddos
But not many men learn from the mistakes made by their fathers. You have seen men in you family; uncles, cousins, elder brothers and friends; regretting the whole fiasco.But how many single men out there actually learn anything from that? And after few months of realization they console each other in weddings. Telling each other how to counter the brutality of the lady in the house.They start by cursing Govt. and America, which is then followed by the question whether India is stupid enough to attack Pakistan and then these married men continue with their whining;
A:Hamid Bhai, you look fatter, balder and uglier! You have completely lost your thing it appears.
B: Yes, that and loads of green (money).
A: How come?
B: My friend [Sigh!] when a man decides to get married; he gradually looses every good he has. In contrast his wife gains every bad she has, like weight, weight and loads of weight.
A: Which one is your wife by the way?
B: You see that big sack of wet clothes on that table near the water cooler.
A:Yes.
B: That thing is my wife.
B: Which one is yours?
A: Can you see that woman in the red dress? Who tried to look like Ashwariya and ended up looking like Abhishek.
B: The one who’s fiercely rubbing that red lipstick on her jaws?
A: Yeah…. That’s my better half.
So the question is what is there for single man? Nothing tempting that can persuade me to go to these gatherings, I still remember how my dad uses to convince me to attend these weddings.
Me: Dad, I have this important test tomorrow. I can’t go to some stupid wedding.
Dad: Son, If you are not going to attend their wedding, nobody will be present in yours.
Me: Dad what are you talking about. I am hardly 12 and probably not going to get married in the coming 12 (years). [I so successfully predicted that bid :P]
Dad: Hmmmm…. Soch lo, there will be plenty of free ice cream.
Me: So, when is the wedding again? :O
Yes free meal, its the biggest attraction. You will meet an old friend in a wedding who will be complaining about your absence from the scene and the next thing you know he is somewhere near the food stalls, making the pile of items on his plate. But the highlight of any Pakistani wedding is the movie session; where all who are invited get a chance to have a candid session with the bride and the groom. This session is the longest and most exhausting of all. And the poor groom has to wear this fake smile on his face all the time. Waiting to get ova with the boring part 
Now when I think about marriage ceremonies it reminds me of a dialog from ‘A Night at the Roxubury’ , where the priest asks Will Farrell (the actor) whether he wants to take the lady in the white gown as his bride and he bluntly replies;
‘I dunno :S , my father already paid the caterers ’
Popularity: 39% [?]
A television weatherman stunned his presenter girlfriend when he made a surprise appearance on her morning news broadcast to propose live on-air.
This happens when you watch too much cheesy romantic stuff on TV and films I know most of the women out there find it extremely romantic and few men may look at it as an opportunity to propose their supposed girlfriends. But I find it cheesy and my advise to folks out there ‘Dont try this at work place‘
Popularity: 15% [?]
Claimer: Another old post and one of my favorite Iftar tales. True story btw
I looked at the watch and it showed that there was another hour and a half left in the Iftari. It was my schools friend engagement cum Iftar party and I was sitting in her TV lounge along with some old friends. I needed anything to keep my mind off the food and who else can help me then my good old pal the Television
It was Alim Online that was on GEO TV, some people believe that it’s a religious program but I differ. As customary the host Amir Liaqat was wearing some visible make up on his face along with his usual apparel which he claims is Shalwar Qameez.
aMmAr: Is that a see through qameez(shirt) this sham is wearing?
Fahad: Heh. Yeah!
aMmAr: Horrible dress mate with all the golden flowers on the qameez. Even some one like Reema (Pakistani actress) won’t wear something this awful.
Fahad: Heh. Yeah!
aMmAr: what is that black thing inside that qameez?
Danish: Looks like a men’s bra to me. Lolz 
Fahad: ROFL! Yeah!
Zubair: Bra or Bro. Lolz :D
aMmAr: Ok enough! Roza hai yar (we are fasting guys). Change the channel, in fact give me that thing (remote control).
I started surfing through the channels. Switching from one Pakistani channel to another, every channel was screening some damn cooking show. I tapped my wrist watch twice but the time was not speeding up at all. Another hour to go and I was starving to death.
aMmAr: can we watch some music channel.
Danish: No! whats wrong with the cooking shows.
aMmAr: I want to take my mind off the food.
Zubair: Can’t you control your self?
aMmAr: Hmmm.. No
Where ever I stopped the channel was showing some stupid reality show.I just hate these shows.Then I switched to a sports channel which was showing some twenty20 cricket match.
aMmAr: Guys, I wonder if these spectators are there to watch the cheerleaders dancing or the match itself.
Fahad: Depends, if the spectators are Pakistanis then surely they are not their for the match.
After an hour of mindless tele watchingit was the time we all were waiitng for;Iftaaaaaari time.
So the siren went on and after reciting the prayer everyone started eating and drinking the delicious items on the menu. Except me ofcourse.
Sweet Aunty: Beta eat something
aMmAr: Yes aunty I will don’t worry.
Sweet Aunty: you aren’t even touching the food items. You aren’t shy or anything or are you?
aMmAr: Shy!? No way I am just waiting…
Sweet Aunty: waiting? For what?
By now I noticed most of the guests were wondering the same; why wasn’t I eating food like the rest. I decided to come out of the closet and tell them what they might not enjoy listening.
aMmAr: Aunty I am Ahl e Tashee aka Shia. It’s not my time yet I have to wait another10 mins or more.
As soon as I completed my sentence the whole hall was wrapped into a pin drop silence. Some open jaws were lying over the floor. To be exact every one was looking at me. For those who missed the big news were asking others and making weird noises after learning about the new revelation.
Sweet Aunty: No problem beta, but don’t you forget to eat okay.
aMmAr: sure thing aunty
I find the whole incident quite funny when I think about it. I don’t know if anyone will find this incident equally interesting but those who can relate to me will and have a bunch of their own interesting iftaar tales to tell.
Popularity: 15% [?]