Sam: When are you getting married?

 

Me: I am only 24

 

Sam: Yeh but half of your friends are either married, engaged or have a healthy relationship.

 

Me: If by a healthy relationship you mean talking late hours on the phone. I am better off it. The telecom service providers now shamelessly target young couples. The other day I saw this advert where a teenage girl was so proudly exclaiming:

 

Woh call nahe keta tau kia hua.. mai kerloongi (what if he duznt call…I’ll call him myslef)

 

Now wait a effing minute here. What are  we teaching these kids?

 

Sam: Okay, okay I got your point. But this doesn’t answer my first question.

 

Me: Yes it does, its not a competition. That if everyone is competing I should also enroll myself or if everyone is taking admission in the college so I have to do it as well.

 

Its not Sam’s fault. Walking down the aisle is the new trend in town for some odd reason. A close friend mine moved to USA for higher studies. So when ever I get to talk to him and he ask whats new in Karachi. I break the following news to him:

 

1. Shahzeb the nerd got married
2. CJ got restored
3. Umar Bengali got lucky and is engaged to some gurl in his family
   

 

 

NOW when he comes online the first question he asks;

 

” Who got married, engaged or divorced this time?”

 

Maybe it has to do with age and the fact that we all are grown ups now. And its normal to see people we grew up with are getting laid settling down. It all has to do with preferences, opportunities and the fact that whose paying the caterers; you or your old man Love got nothing to do with. Its just USP (Unique Selling Point) which is repeatedly used in SRK films. The same way Jamat e Islami uses Islam in their manifesto and Imran Khan uses justice while picking on young/old women.

 

Even now if you feel like missing out at something, ask your uncles, cousins and married friends what they are missing out. And trust me you will feel much better with your present freedom.

 

Popularity: 20% [?]

Hey there Delilah
What’s it like in New York City?
I’m a thousand miles away
But girl, tonight you look so pretty
Yes you do
Times Square can’t shine as bright as you
I swear it’s true

Hey there Delilah
Don’t you worry about the distance
I’m right there if you get lonely
Give this song another listen
Close your eyes
Listen to my voice, it’s my disguise
I’m by your side

Oh it’s what you do to me
Oh it’s what you do to me
Oh it’s what you do to me
Oh it’s what you do to me
What you do to me

Hey there Delilah
I know times are getting hard
But just believe me, girl
Someday I’ll pay the bills with this guitar
We’ll have it good
We’ll have the life we knew we would
My word is good

Hey there Delilah
I’ve got so much left to say
If every simple song I wrote to you
Would take your breath away
I’d write it all
Even more in love with me you’d fall
We’d have it all

Oh it’s what you do to me
Oh it’s what you do to me
Oh it’s what you do to me
Oh it’s what you do to me

A thousand miles seems pretty far
But they’ve got planes and trains and cars
I’d walk to you if I had no other way
Our friends would all make fun of us
and we’ll just laugh along because we know
That none of them have felt this way
Delilah I can promise you
That by the time we get through
The world will never ever be the same
And you’re to blame

Hey there Delilah
You be good and don’t you miss me
Two more years and you’ll be done with school
And I’ll be making history like I do
You’ll know it’s all because of you
We can do whatever we want to
Hey there Delilah here’s to you
This one’s for you

Oh it’s what you do to me
Oh it’s what you do to me
Oh it’s what you do to me
Oh it’s what you do to me
What you do to me

Popularity: 15% [?]

 

Getting the job done becomes quite difficult especially when your work is interdependent on others. But then there is no ideal working condition. You have to make the most of what you have and mould yourself accordingly; and this is the real test of your patience and self esteem. One thing that I have learned in the short span of my working experience is honesty, being honest with yourself and your work should be one’s agenda. No matter how big or small is the nature of your job or the size of your company; you should be honest with yourself and your work. Period!

Things don’t remain the same ever, and believe it or not luck plays a very mysterious role in your career. Dont agree with me on this one, so answer this simple question. If Bush was not such a big Screw Up, would there have been a Black President in a country like America? Obviously not

Coming back to the topic, I have decided to dedicate the year ’09 to personal grooming and improvement. Time management is the real focus, because if I am able to get a hang of it the rest of the puzzle pieces will fall in their respective positions. At least that’s what I am hoping

Ok, before this post sounds like the blogger I don’t

Popularity: 11% [?]

 

 

 

Its not that I vowed not to blog, but there are times in life when commitments or ailments in the real world take over your daily activities in the virtual world. Anyways a lot is going on in the real world like I have found new love in the face of table tennis, which I play a lot these days. And guess what I have improved my forehand. I also took a programming (VB 6) task at work which involves development of a very simple desktop application, but for someone who has no clue of swimming, even a 10 feet pool is huge.

 

In other news, I took an (unintentional) break from the internet; 4 days are like 4 decades for some one who has to regularly reply to the emails, twit (whine) his daily activities and tag fugly photos of close friends on facebook don’t you love bullying people on FB? I simple love it.

 

Last and most importantly teabreak development team have been working their asses off on some AMAZING new FEATURES & PORTAL that we plan to launch soon. So stay tune to my blog posts, twits and Facebook updates.

Popularity: 12% [?]

 

 

People are getting married at this time of the year in Pakistan. For some strange reason people choose to get married in the holiday season especially in December. Why December? Why not the rest of the eleven months, from Jan to November? People don’t divorce each other after looking at the calendar or do they? So why wedding?

 Chubbie Hubbie:  Hey honey, I ve decided to divorce you on the 7^th of October. What do you say?

  

Trophy Wife: Hmmm… I dunno, my aunty who lives in San Francisco won’t be able to attend. How about December?

  

 Chubbie Hubbie: Honky dory! Now let’s make sweet love 

   

 I hate attending marriages. It’s the most over rated occasion to party. Women with horrible sense of fashion get the opportunity to wear deafening make-up, dazzling clothes and perfumes that have a hefty proportion of saturated chloroform. The married men are there to look after the kids. You weren’t expecting Mama to dress like Atiqa Odho and run after young Pappo with a feeder:P And besides It’s the responsibility of daddys to look after their kiddos   

 But not many men learn from the mistakes made by their fathers. You have seen men in you family;  uncles, cousins, elder brothers and friends; regretting the whole fiasco.But how many single men out there actually learn anything from that? And after few months of realization they console each other in weddings. Telling each other how to counter the brutality of the lady in the house.They start by cursing Govt. and America, which is then followed by the question whether India is stupid enough to attack Pakistan and then these married men continue with their whining;

   

 A:Hamid Bhai, you look fatter, balder and uglier! You have completely lost your thing it appears.

   

 B: Yes, that and loads of green (money).

   

A: How come?

B: My friend [Sigh!] when a man decides to get married; he gradually looses every good he has. In contrast his wife gains every bad she has, like weight, weight and loads of weight.   

 A: Which one is your wife by the way?  

B: You see that big sack of wet clothes on that table near the water cooler.

  A:Yes.  

B: That thing is my wife.

   

B: Which one is yours?

   

A: Can you see that woman in the red dress? Who tried to look like Ashwariya and ended up looking like Abhishek.

   

B: The one who’s fiercely rubbing that red lipstick on her jaws?

   

A: Yeah…. That’s my better half.

So the question is what is there for single man? Nothing tempting that can persuade me to go to these gatherings, I still remember how my dad uses to convince me to attend these weddings.

  Me: Dad, I have this important test tomorrow. I can’t go to some stupid wedding.

  

 Dad: Son, If you are not going to attend their wedding, nobody will be present in yours.

  

 Me: Dad what are you talking about. I am hardly 12  and probably not going to get married in the coming 12 (years). [I so successfully predicted that bid :P]

  

 Dad: Hmmmm…. Soch lo, there will be plenty of free ice cream.

  

 Me: So, when is the wedding again? :O

  

 Yes free meal, its the biggest attraction. You will meet an old friend in  a wedding who will be complaining about your absence from the scene and the next thing you know he is somewhere near the food stalls, making the pile of items on his plate. But the highlight of any Pakistani wedding is the movie session; where all who are invited get a chance to have a candid session with the bride and the groom. This session is the longest and most exhausting of all. And the poor groom has to wear this fake smile on his face all the time. Waiting to get ova with the boring part

   

 Now when I think about marriage ceremonies it reminds me of a dialog from  ‘A Night at the Roxubury’ , where the priest asks Will Farrell (the actor) whether he wants to take the lady in the white gown as his bride and he bluntly replies;

  ‘I dunno :S , my father already paid the caterers ’

Popularity: 34% [?]